When someone says their relationship status is ‘complicated’, I ask “when has it ever been simple?”
Whether you’re single, dating someone, in a committed relationship or married with a bunch of kids; it’s complicated. Here’s why.
Recently, I met this absolutely gorgeous woman through Floh! Plays guitar and sings like a goddess. She’s been pursuing music after quitting her regular job and doesn’t know where it will take her. Maybe here, maybe there. After a few days of talking to and meeting each other, the obvious question popped in both our heads. Where are we headed with this? Well, in our case there are a lot of moving parts in our lives so we don’t know if it is complicated as a relationship. Anyway, we are hoping to give it a shot. She thinks not all relationships are complicated; some are very simple and clear. And I agree. I think when I say ‘it’s complicated’, I mean to say that some people are very clear about what they want out of their partner, relationship and life in general. Some of us don’t. And then again we are dynamic. Constant exposure to what’s happening around the world. Access to different experiences. It changes us for sure. So, I ask is it even possible to know what you want in the longer term?
Recently, a friend of mine went through separation after 12 years of marriage, with a 6-year old son. She’s met someone else. But she doesn’t know what to do with this new relationship; complicated. All through the last 10 years of her marriage, I have known her, but I could never tell when it went bad. It is clear that relationships don’t come with guarantees. Take the vow. Involve the society. Make the government and courts of law recognise your relationship. But if it doesn’t work out, there is nothing much you can do about it. You go back to the same people, pay more money to separate. Is the concept of permanence irrelevant in the times we live in?
Hold On To The Person You Love
So if you’ve got someone you love, hang on to them. Enjoy your time with them. I have known people who’ve stayed in the same house but lived like strangers. And then I have known people who have made long distance work for years. So, there is no rule book to relationships. What works for someone else may not work for you. Stop comparing. Eat, drink, run, go places together. Drink a lot sometimes; talk gibberish, kiss passionately. Make love. Laugh. No matter what, do not stop having fun. Even when you fight. Let it work naturally. Don’t worry about where it is headed or if it will continue to be just as good. Because no matter what, there is no such thing as making a relationship work for a certain foreseeable future; they work as long as you both say and do the right things.
It is clear that there is nothing that can hold a relationship together if two people think they aren’t compatible anymore. We have come a long way from ‘making things work’. There is no such thing as loving someone too much not to leave them. But if you can find someone you can have fun with every day, do just that. Whether you’re on your first date or years into a marriage, the relationship dies when the fun dies. So, I guess for the relationship to last and not be complicated one needs to make sure to have fun together. Perhaps, like humour eases any difficult situation, fun eases the complications in a relationship.
This post was sent to us anonymously by a member. We are so glad that we get to be a part of every relationship that blossoms through Floh. If you have experiences of thoughts about relationships that will resonate with the community, please send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org