Dealing With Emotional Baggage.

I am very eager to enter in to a romantic relationship with a 36 year old woman. I am not entirely sure if she will reciprocate due to an emotional baggage that she carries given her previous/past relationship. This is understandable and I empathise with her. How should I proceed and what can be done to address her apprehensions?

Submitted anonymously

First of all I am so delighted that you are sensitive to her emotions – that in itself is such a great start. We all carry emotional baggage, that could be from a failed romantic relationship or even from our parents’ relationship. When we meet someone who either resonates that emotional baggage or is empathetic and understands us, is when most people get into a relationship. You should tell her how you feel about her, it seems she is comfortable sharing stuff with you so draw from that. You can go back to your normal mode after letting her know.

I’ll suggest that you do not seek a reply if she does not say anything right away. Let the thought sink in and see where it goes. By doing that you are showing her that you empathise with her emotional baggage and are willing to give her the space to collect herself if she needs it. The other scenario to be aware of is that she might not reciprocate your feelings at all. At that point you have to think of yourself. Have clarity whether you are okay with just being friends and not wanting anything more. Or letting this friendship/relationship  go. Please refer to my answer about one sided love as well for this scenario.

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