Married or Single: Contentment Matters

They say our generation is that of hope. We are strong, honest, independent, unafraid to choose the path less travelled and we stand by our choices. We speak up against wrong, stand up for what is right, and try to fix whatever we can. However, even though we seemingly immerse ourselves and emerge from this sea of virtue, we seem to have forgotten one crucial element – contentment.

Instant Gratification

We are used to instant gratification .Got a great picture taken? Upload it on Facebook immediately. Nice thought popped into your head? Tweet it that instant. Looking good today? Must Instagram it right away! We aren’t happy with how we look until it is validated by other people’s likes or comments via a zillion different avenues. We aren’t happy with our thoughts until they are commended by other people’s upvotes. And unfortunately this exhibitionism extends to the one sentiment that is supposed to be pristine, uncoloured, and not judged – love.

Made To Order Love

Ours is a time of love via matrimonial websites and dating apps. Spouses/significant others that are made to order, much like your favourite pav-bhaji (Bhaiyya, masala aur butter thoda zyada, pyaaz side mein). We want everything customized, and what’s more – we know we can get it. Want a guy who has the same interests as you or a girl who looks like a goddess? Want a man who cooks for you or a woman who will take care of your parents? Look it up on this website or that app and you will definitely find someone in a nation of one billion who matches your preferences. Our lives have become a giant buffet. Don’t like the job you have? Move on to the next one. Don’t like the friends you have? Make new ones. Don’t like the girlfriend/boyfriend you have? That’s right, get another one. You know the saddest part? That after all of this customizing, and all this nitpicking – we still aren’t happy. We still want more, we still keep looking, looking for the next best thing….we are NEVER content.


Contentment – that’s what it’s about, isn’t it? “She doesn’t make me happy like she used to”. “He doesn’t love me like he used to”. But can another person ever really make you happy? Is it the partner’s job to ensure that your needs are fulfilled, that your wants are met, that YOU are happy? Is our idea of happiness and love so stagnant that we expect our partner and relationship to remain the same over time, while we allow ourselves the luxury of changing? And when we find that we aren’t happy, or things have changed, we break up. We get divorced. We move on. Move on in search of the next person who can make us happy. All the while forgetting that the only person who can ever really, truly make us happy and ensure we are content – is we, ourselves.

We are so enamoured by the choices offered to us, by the life size food court that is at our disposal, that we forget that nothing and nobody can be crafted to our liking, that no person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. We have, as individuals, miserably failed to see that the ONLY way we can be happy and content, is if and when we CHOOSE to be so.

I would love to hear your thoughts on what I wrote, let me know what you think in the comments below! Share your own experience with contentment with other singles!

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