It’s never easy to find ‘the one’ — and finding someone who actually loves you for who you are, is even harder! So it’s always frustrating when you do finally find the right person, and your parents get in the way of sealing the deal!
If you’re anything like the average Indian child, your parents have had a say in everything from the school you study in to the career path you choose for most of your life. But, you’re not planning on having an arranged marriage, and they’re completely okay with you going on a few dates till you find the one —if they can meet and veto all your dates of course! It’s great to have a second, third (sometimes even fourth!) opinion about the prospective love of your life, but are they actually keeping love at arm’s length? Whether it’s by telling you that you deserve better, making you second guess their commitment to you or guilt-tripping you about marrying within the community, they can really influence the choices you make in your dating life! In fact, you could already be with the right one, but…
They colour your opinions
You met your partner in a restaurant, bonded over dinner and have had a great time ever since. Everything is smooth sailing, until you talk to your parents. They are very encouraging, but they pass a few remarks – why have not they settled down yet? Is it weird that they are only earning that small amount? And before you realise, you’re thinking the same thing!
They’re really culture sensitive
You’re part of a modern family – religion doesn’t matter! Or so you think. Because while they’re okay with your friends dating outside the community, the minute you do, they seem heartbroken. Of course, it’s your decision to make… but the guilt associated with disappointing them is going to dampen your relationship.
They tell you not to settle
Even if you didn’t think you were before they mentioned it. Are you a doctor? Well then how could you settle for a nurse – or worse, someone who isn’t even in the medical field?!
They’ve had their eye on someone
Of course, there’s no chemistry with this said someone, but because they’ve always thought that was the perfect match for you, anyone else is going to come up short. Even if they don’t find someone, no one is ever good enough for their precious child. And you know what? You will end up with no one if you succumb to that view!
Your partner has to be a step above everyone else’s. How could they face friends and family if they’re not good enough? They’re always guilt tripping you into believing that because your friends and cousins have found a partner who has a stable career, lots of money and perfect credentials — you should as well!
They’re uncomfortable with their family
On the off-chance that none of the above apply to you – everything is smooth sailing. But, just as you’re about to thank your lucky stars, it is time for the families to meet and greet each other, and that does not go well. That isn’t going to help your relationship at all now, is it?
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not really making all the decisions in your love life! Whether consciously or subconsciously, your parents are giving you several nudges in what they think is the right direction! We’re not suggesting throwing aside all their opinions. After all, love is blind and sometimes a second opinion helps you see through all the affection you’re feeling. However, when you know in your gut that you’ve found the one – stick with them no matter what!