A while ago, I remember having a conversation with a friend on ‘relationships’ where I artlessly and ingenuously said, “Relationships require emotional as well as mental investment from both parties. And more importantly, an investment of time.”
To which my friend (a man) rather vehemently retorted saying – “Relationships are not a business contract. I ‘invest’ in the stock market.”
Not quite grasping the crux of my message, my friend chose to have a heated discussion on hair-splitting semantics instead. To him, when a man and woman share a romantic relationship together, time spent together must be such that is comfortable for both. Sure, despite having a partner, as individuals we are entitled to our own time, and time to take care of other important commitments – be it work or family matters.
However, beyond that relationships are built on a few basic fundamentals to evolve into something beautiful and solid. Honest communication, patience and trust- all of which require ‘TIME’.
Lack Of Time
As our lives have gotten busier, and work-life balance a misnomer, I see more and more people using lack of time as an excuse for being single, or failing in the love-department. We choose to put our careers ahead of our personal lives, our friends before loved ones and me-time has replaced the concept of ‘our-time’ or ‘let’s-get-to-know one-another time’ as we race against the clock to get ahead of the pack.
Since our lifestyle aspirations have gotten loftier and professional destinations increasingly ambitious – how many of us have put a ‘successful, long-lasting, healthy and emotionally fulfilling relationship/ marriage’ in that same unending bucket-list of ’50-things to do before I die’?
Take a minute to ponder and ask yourself :- “Am I (have I been) ambitious in the relationship department?” A good look at your relationship history and patterns should answer this.
Relationships are built over time and building it on a solid foundation also, takes time. Making time for your partner will be a ‘deal-maker’ or deal-breaker to your relationship depending on how unflinchingly and generously you offer it. Romance, is not just a collection of high-octane seeking experiences, but really the small stuff. It is a slice of your day, everyday. Communicating with, sharing with, and knowing someone; with whom you are in an established bond with or someone you desire to be with. It is taking time out for the mundane and the routine as much as it is about taking time off for fun and frolic.
No Time = Failed Relationships
Often I hear friends and acquaintances alike, make some very atrocious statements on their choices to be single or for failed broken relationships: “I don’t have time for a relationship right now in my life.” or “It was not working.” or “I want to keep my options open.”
Time has to be made, it does not present itself on a silver platter. If it takes two to make a relationship it takes two to break one too. The last one is the most horrific in my personal view. While it is great to have ‘a basket-full of choices’, ‘variety’ to juggle around to avoid the FOMO- (fear of missing out – something millennials thrive on)- at some point we’ve all got to dig deep. Instead of risking the FOMO on a future, greener option instead why not rewire ourselves to be concerned about the FOMO on a present potential long-term companion?
The Most Precious Commodity – Time
Life is short. Live with a large heart and share the most precious commodity – Your time. You never know what may lie ahead- a lifetime of happiness and soul-stirring experiences. 🙂
I leave you with a verse to ponder what I have said here.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull dayTime – Pink Floyd
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
If you agree with what I have said or have a different take let me know in the comments below. I urge you to spend a little of your time 🙂