This is a guest post by Floh member, Harsha.
There are some rules in love. Rules that are not restricting but work towards bringing more understanding and more freedom.
The below sutras are part of ancient Indian wisdom on compatibility and love – In fact, some of them have reference even in the Narad Bhakti sutras.
1. Ego vs Emotion – For a man, his ego is important. Even if the whole world says that he is useless, his wife should still say that he is Superman. If his ego is crushed, everything is crushed. For a woman, her emotions are important. She is an emotional being and her man should never trample unduly on her emotions or deliberately hurt them. She can rave and rant about how her mother keeps calling and bugging her but the moment her man joins the complaining, he is gone. Just listen and show love – no solution, no joining in
2. Journeys to outer space – Any relationship needs space from time to time. A bit of space here and there can intensify the longing and love. Without longing, where is the love? Small breaks can be exciting and fulfilling.
3. Being together is not important, doing things together is – We usually emphasize on finding time to be together. However, simply being together can cause boredom and monotony unless there is a certain level of maturity in both partners! What is important is doing things together. If the focus is not just on each other but certain common goals or certain fun activities, bonding naturally happens and a spirit of exuberance and love flows freely. So remember, doing something that both enjoy is the focus – togetherness and love is the result.
4. To express or not to express – Sometimes we express love. Sometimes we don’t. One should express love but only as much as needed. Too much love can suffocate. And remember, expression is not just verbal. Expression can include small surprises, meaningful and caring acts.
5. Proof is in the pudding – The one task that surpasses any reality show in its toughness is asking for proof of love. ‘Prove that you love me & If you love me you will do this” are all love killers eventually. Just take love for granted, see it in the eyes and actions and move on.
6. Give and Take – Sure, every relationship is about give and take. If one keeps thinking of what pleasure and benefit they can derive from their partner, the relationship is shallow and temporary. Instead, if one thinks of what can one can give and in what ways one can contribute to the life of the partner, the relationship is beautiful. This might sound idealistic, but it is about the intent. Try this and you will see that give and take happens organically. If you give, he/she gives too.
7. I, Me and Myself – The last and most important rule is to realize that there is a huge difference between loneliness and solitude. One can be happy being alone too. The moment we realize this, any relationship becomes a celebration of life and not a desperate attempt to ward off loneliness and pain. One who can be happy by himself can be happy with anyone and can make anyone happy too.
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