Perfecting the post-date text message

Uncomfortable with texts? Well, it may be time to get with the program, because calling someone after a first date has been replaced with the follow-up text! And with it, the familiar struggle about what to say to your date without coming on too strong.

You can’t help waking up with a smile. After all, you’ve had the most terrific date of your life. And then, suddenly, all the excitement and glee turns to panic – it’s time for the dreaded follow-up! Do you send a message (because calls are so passé of course) immediately? If so, what do you say? Did they feel the same way? Do they have a problem with emoji?
Since you can’t hear their tone of voice at the other end of the line, the post-date text can be more terrifying to deal with than the call. The good thing though is that there are no hard and fast rules! All you need to do is keep your texting game strong and sound as confident as you wish you felt!

To text or not to text

Whether to text your date first, or wait for a text to come in, is your first hurdle. But since texting is such a casual platform anyway, it shouldn’t be! Most people don’t overthink the first message anymore and neither should you! It’s easy enough – just let your date know how much fun you had the night before.

Ask for a second date

But don’t do it right away. Wait for conversation to build up – and be patient, because it can take a while to filter past the emoji, short forms and delayed responses that come with the casual text. Recollect a funny moment from the night before or follow through with a conversation that didn’t reach a conclusion if you find yourself stuck. Once you’re actually sure that your date enjoyed themselves as much as you did, ask them if they would like to go out again.

Cut out the pressure

If your date has politely turned down your request for a second date – our sympathies! It can be difficult to deal with, but remember that unless they specifically said they don’t want to go out with you, it may be because they’re genuinely busy! This is the perfect time to throw the ball into their court. Instead of being persistent, just ask them to let you know whenever they’re free and would like to go out again.

Plan it out

Don’t be too direct about planning your second date with singles. If you have already asked them for a second date and they have agreed, ask them what they would like to do, or if there is something new that they would like to try out. And if you haven’t yet scored a second date, ask them about if they have something they have always wanted to try out and then ask them if they would like to try that out with you. It will make you out to be more considerate of the things they like or dislike.

Don’t get personal

The thing about text messages, is that there’s no way to pretend the person at the other end of the line misheard you. It’s all typed out – so anything silly you say is going to be sitting there, a constant reminder of a bad text decision. But there’s an easy fix – just don’t ask too many questions or get too personal! Leave making a fool of yourself to when you actually meet single again. In any case, it’s way too early to ask about each other’s exes, or get into details about their family issues. Keep the conversation centred on the two of you.

Don’t be sleazy

Just about to text your date telling them how attracted you were to them? Don’t! Save it for the second, third… maybe even fourth date (we’ll leave it up to you to judge the perfect moment). A few flirtatious hints are a good sign, but constantly referring to physical attraction is just sleazy.

There’s a lot of different ways to deal with being an uncomfortable texter – after all, we can’t all be smooth operators when it comes to the follow-up, text or no text! Just remember, there are really no rules – just be you! What do you think?

What are your go to post-date texts? Do you have any suggestions or thoughts on my advice to you? Let me know in the comments below!

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