By Simran Mangharam, Co-Founder of Floh.
Being in a relationship is a gamble in the first place- going on dates, remembering what your prospective partner likes and dislikes… coming up with conversation that will keep the sparks flying… But, sometimes you’ve got one more thing to consider – age!
It’s great that we no longer see age as an issue. Older women date younger men, older men date younger women – it’s not a big deal if everyone’s an adult, right? Well, you may still be privy to some judgmental stares, heartbroken parents and societal suspicion. If you’re in it for the right reasons, it doesn’t – but you may want to be prepared for a few situations you may find yourself in, with both sides of the coin!
When you are attracted to someone older:
They are not as spontaneous
If you like making quick decisions and going with your gut feeling, you may find yourself at a crossroads with an older partner. They’ve been there, done that so they’re probably not looking at the world with the same wide-eyed innocence as you are.
You will think you can’t match up
They’ve (hopefully!) settled in to steady careers, some may have had extremely serious relationships or even been married in the past. They’ve had a lifetime of experiences and all you’ve got to your name is a fancy degree or your first promotion. Look at all this experience as a boon, not a crutch!
There will be stability
Because they’ve already found their path in life, there will be the sort of stability you won’t get with partners who are still discovering themselves. If you’re looking for a mature relationship – this is perfect!
You will discover new things
Think of it as a learning experience – since they have so much life experience under their belt already, you’re going to have an extremely enriching relationship!
There’s very little drama
Unless you’re dating a drama queen (in which case age is no bar!) your relationship will be much smoother sailing because of their maturity.
When you are attracted to someone younger:
You’re probably their first serious relationship
We know, we know – this isn’t necessarily true. But, if there’s a significant age gap, there’s also a significant amount that you’ve learnt from relationships that they haven’t. So, venturing into a serious relationship is going to be a challenge. Be prepared for a little chaos!
There will be a hint of immaturity
And you need to be prepared to deal with it! Someone younger may be more stubborn, more bull-headed and sometimes even a little less able to take constructive criticism. Don’t baby your partner, but remember their age is not always just a number.
They will have a lot more time and energy
Physical and otherwise. They haven’t done, seen or had as much as you yet. Be prepared to live on the edge and embrace your younger side again instead of trying to curb their enthusiasm.
What do people think?
According to professor of communications, Sneha Subedar, the age difference does matter! “People become set in their ways, in their perspectives. And it gets difficult to change. When one partner is older, she/he brings a certain maturity into the relationship. They obviously know more and naturally tend to lead. But, if when both partners have strong personalities – there’s bound to be some clashes!”
Copywriter Sanjit Roy however, thinks it could work, even with a large age gap, saying, “If two people really like each other then the age difference shouldn’t matter. It may or may not last, but that is a risk in any relationship – and there will definitely be good memories! In a long relationship where the age difference is really wide, it could be a little bit more of an issue though.”
So, what’s the secret to a long lasting relationship between two people from different generations? Compromise, compromise and more compromise! It doesn’t matter if your partner is five years younger or ten years older, or even the same age – it’s a pretty good rule to follow!
