At 29, I was a strong, young and independent woman like many others working their way up the career ladder. This also meant that I had no time to think about the concept of ‘settling down’. Usually in an Indian family living in Malaysia like mine, the parents would be looking out for a suitable groom for their daughters. In my case, my father – the King in my life, wasn’t with me for over 10 years. I had no time to go out and find a man to spend the rest of my life with on my own and neither was I inclined to.
A Profile Registered In Secret
In stepped one of the biggest pillars of my strength – my friends. Without my knowledge they had my profile registered on one of the matrimonial websites and started hunting for grooms on my behalf. I had no clue about this until I received a few weird and creepy emails, which led me to confront my friends and get them to remove my profile within the week. But fate would have it otherwise and I happened to meet my husband in this very week on the website. What are the odds of meeting someone from another country and in such a short span of time?
The Right Guy
So what was it that made it possible for me to decide that this was THE guy, instead of the many that wrote in? Simple. It was the way he wrote his first email to me. Not only did it tick all the boxes of being humble, unpretentious and real but what really caught my attention was the command of his language and ‘how’ he conveyed things. It showed that he put a lot of thought into writing his first email to me without having any expectations. I was ‘smitten-ed’!
A Request To All Men
So here are a few things I would like to suggest to all the men out there on what ‘NOT’ to do in your first few encounters with a potential partner. These are things which set the man who is now my husband, apart from all the other men I met on the matrimonial portal.
- Poor command over your language and email etiquette, especially if the first encounter is online. This does not mean that you must use big words. Be straightforward and say it ‘correctly’.
- Being pretentious. Women see right through pretence.
- Bragging about yourself in the first encounter. No one likes a show-off.
- One sentence emails. Strict no-no.
- A big turnoff is asking how much a woman earns via chat or email.
- Asking to share more photographs.
These are just some of the many ‘faux pas’ moves that men commit when approaching a woman online. First impressions are a big deal. I have always wondered why people don’t bat an eyelid when it comes to putting a ton of effort for job interviews but not enough for someone who could potentially be someone you spend your entire life with. I sincerely hope that this would help the men out there find their partners. Everyone needs a partner and I’m a firm believer of the fact that it will happen when the time is right, so hang in there. 🙂
Good Luck & Onwards!
All the best to those trying and I just want to say that this is an absolutely wonderful journey everyone should embark upon and this is coming from someone who wasn’t even inclined to take this journey to begin with!
Have your own story you would like to share about patience in finding the right one? I would love to know what you think about this article, let me know in the comments below!