This is a guest post by Riya T, our in-house relationship expert.
For most people, a first date is almost always a source of excitement and nervousness. A lot of people these days go on first dates out of curiosity. “You know, I wasn’t really interested in him, but let’s see what happens.” I’ve met people who didn’t even realise they were on a first date. “Oh, she just called me out for coffee, it was very casual, I don’t think it was a date.”
But, if you do realise you’re going for a first date with a like minded people, and you’re nervous and excited at the same time, here are some pointers to remember:
1) Dress to impress. This seems pretty evident, but you’d be surprised by how few people bother to make the effort, especially if it’s an after-work date. Gentlemen, this means wearing shoes that are not sneakers, maybe a shirt, and perhaps even a sports coat if it’s chilly. Of course, let’s not forget the after shave and deodorant. Ladies, in your case, this would involve getting out of your work clothes. If you normally tie up your hair, this would be an occasion to let it loose. You don’t have to go overboard and dress like you’re going for a wedding, but keep it classy, no chipped nail polish, no lipstick on the teeth.
2) Pay attention to the conversation. Now that the introductions have been made, it’s time to pay attention to the conversation. If you’re excited about the date, this happens naturally. I’ve found that the best way to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. But, even if this is a date that you’re not excited about, it is just polite to pay attention. This means no looking at your phone, at any point. Unless, of course, it’s an emergency or a job or a life is at stake. In which case, you should probably say that at the start of the date, “I’m expecting a life changing phone call,” so we can be suitably impressed.
3) The bill. There’s been a LOT of discussion on this topic (See: Battle Of The Wallets), and it’s safe to say that it’s a bit of a minefield. My only suggestion here is to go with what you’re comfortable with. Personally, I would prefer if the guy paid, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t offer. If you’re both well earning members of the society, then you can definitely afford to pay for dinner as well. If the guy does pay for the bill, don’t forget to thank him for a lovely meal.
4) What happens next? Ah, the eternal question. Now, if the date didn’t go well, I think the very least a gentleman can do is walk the lady to her car, or make sure she gets home safe. It’s just common courtesy. Of course, there’s always the chance that the date went well for one person and it didn’t for the other. In that case, I find ripping the band aid off faster works better. Don’t say “I’ll call you” or “we should do this again” when you have no intention of doing it. Say “it was nice catching up.” And, leave it at that. If you’re certain that you would like to meet this person again, don’t forget to message them afterwards to tell them how you had a great time and would like to meet again. It always leaves a great impression.
These are my suggestions. Is there anything I might have missed?
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