Hello Simran,
I think one topic that you haven’t addressed yet and is particularly relevant in the Indian context is how to talk to parents about being on Floh and attending Floh events.
As an adult who still lives with his parents like a lot of Indians, I haven’t yet had this conversation with my parents. What if they ask what “Flow” is? Should I correct them and say it’s Floh? Should I explain to them that it’s a dating app? or Should I explain how Floh is different?
Even if they are “open-minded”, they are going to shower me with questions. They are going to ask for photos from the events I attend, they are going to ask if I’ve “found my love” yet.
The only alternatives I can think of right now is to either craft an elaborate lie and claim to be somewhere else every time I attend a Floh event, especially the outstation ones, OR be rude to them and tell them to mind their own business.
I think an article (or several articles) about how to handle parents’ involvement with us attending Floh events (or any other private affairs) would be an interesting read. Even some guidance will do 🙂
Regards,
Floh Member
Dear Floh Member,
You indeed raise some valid points and here is the philosophy behind Floh and how it works in our Indian context.
With the way Indian society has evolved in the last few decades, we have lost a few elements that helped single people find a partner – mainly the help that came from society and the ecosystem at large. Our community that helped get people get married organically has shrunk substantially due to various other aspects that evolved. For example, we have more nuclear families now, people in our circle of influence recommend less and less eligible singles they might know.
The exposure that both men and women get now also makes it harder for society to make these recommendations as what people want now is compatibility from a partner rather than economic support. Floh fills that need in our Indian society.
Our approach is community style – think of it as an elder sister/ married friends who understand what this new ask is of singles and provide them a platform that helps them find their partner.
We do the short listing part for you just like your parents would, but in the current context, by bringing only like-minded people into the community. And then organise informal meetings – an upgrade from when extended families also met when introducing potential partners.
That being said, it’s alright to be a private person when it comes to your dating life, even if you are very close to your family. Every individual is entitled to their own boundaries and romance can be hard enough without also having to make considerations of your families inputs and opinions.
Floh is great because it is a community of like-minded people. Not only will other singles be facing the same issues, but also they might have solutions that you can try out!
It’s also great because the community meets in groups. It’s easy to tell families that you’ve joined a social community that likes to meet and do things together (if you don’t want to explain dating or would like to keep that aspect private).
You can develop close friendships with Floh members (both your gender and the opposite), explore new restaurants, see movies, and even travel together without the pressure of having to explain how a 1-1 date went or whether or not you met someone interesting.
The biggest fear parents have these days is that their child does not want to get married. If you explain to them that you are making an effort to find your life partner and in a way that you feel confident, both about meeting the right people, from the right background, I think they will support you in this endeavour.